LOOSEN UP THE PURSE STRINGS

Giving – of yourself, your time, your money, your energy – is something that takes us from simply being successful people in the traditional sense of the term, to being people who lead successful lives.

Giving is what makes us fully human. It is the essence of what we are, people who are here on earth together, not simply people who hope to clamor to the top of the pile in the survival of the fittest. Yes, pursue your life and your success with heart; be responsible for yourself and take ownership of your life, realizing that you cannot be responsible for others, but also allow yourself to become a giving person.

Giving is also what allows us to accomplish things far beyond ourselves; and that is part of what living the life of our dreams is all about, right? Accomplishing great things through ourselves – and others! Give to people and organizations that fulfill purposes that you believe in. This way, they feel good, you feel good, and the work you believe in gets done. Giving purposefully will give you the ability to know that your giving is doing something great.

Take control of your giving. When we control our giving it becomes proactive rather than reactive. We know that we are doing what we want to do rather than what others may manipulate us to do. We can avoid a lot of the wondering about validity that comes when we give out of reaction. Giving proactively will give you a lot of peace of mind.

I know of a couple who write out their charity checks before any other checks every month. They do that on purpose to keep their hearts in the right place. Every month, month in and month out, year after year, they go about  giving. Their goal is to give away certain amount by the end of their lives. This isn’t done by giving big chunks from time to time. It is accomplished by checks each and every month, methodically. Giving methodically allows you to build up larger gifts over time.

Don’t just give the same amount from year to year – increase your giving. I think there are two good times to readjust your giving: The first of the year and any time your income goes up. Bump your giving up then, if you can. This will keep you on pace with your giving goals and you will notice the increase less from your bottom line. Make your giving increasing and your giving will keep pace with your income.
A generous person doesn't hog the limelight but will listen and be interested in others. They let other people speak - that is a genuine form of generosity. Greed for attention is a form of meanness. The generous-hearted will make light of their own generosity and not be unduly impressed by their own acts of giving. They are more likely to feel that it is 'really nothing' or just 'natural'. You are unlikely to find self-importance, self-congratulation and true generosity combined in the same person.

A truly generous person will remember kindnesses done to them, but forget those they have done for other people.

Generosity or disguised commercial transaction?

Someone does you a favour and you feel obliged to them. If they do you too many favours, you may even come to resent them. But it's hard to resent someone for being good to you, so your unconscious may have to invent justifications as to why you don't like them. Because to dislike someone because they've been good to you... well, it's just not right, is it? The truly generous, however, will make light of the good they do (or even deny they have done good). In this way they can maintain the self respect of the person they have helped.

If someone does you favours in expectation of favours back from you, then the favour-giver is actually putting you under pressure - emotional blackmail. The 'generous act' is really a disguised commercial transaction - "After all I've done for you, and you can't even do XXXX for me!" True generosity isn't about transaction - me doing you a favour so that you can 'owe me one'. Of course, reciprocation is useful in society, but it is not to be confused with real generosity.

Hope for humanity

But  for civilization to be... well, civilized! we need people who are willing to altruistically look after and out for one another without seeking material or emotional rewards. We should do things for one another. Selfishness is good for no one, but favours can be used as weapons when the favours grow not from a truly generous heart but merely from self-interest. Raising such issues as matters of concern will often meet with resistance, as hypocrisy is always going to protect itself. The standard response is often: "Yes, but as long as good things are being done, does it matter if the do-gooder gets an emotional payment by feeling good about themselves for doing it?" This reveals a sadly pessimistic view of human nature, and probably stems from the increasing influence of current explanations of human behaviour based on ideas of essential selfishness.

If we are optimistic about the future development of the human race, however, then the more true selfless generosity there is, the better people are going to be. For this to happen we would have to firstly believe that true and completely un-selfish generosity is possible, and secondly stop worshipping generosity as something sublime rather than just a natural part of being human.

If generosity can't truly exist because we are all essentially selfish, as current trends would have us believe then favours must always be viewed with suspicion.

Don’t just let your giving be a mind issue. Let it be a heart issue. This is what gives us our humanity. What causes make your eyes tear up? What causes really mean something to your heart when you are honest with yourself? Start giving to these causes! Let your checkbook be a reflection of your heart! Make your giving from the heart and you will allow your heart to grow.

These are just a few ideas that you can implement right now to begin the art of giving in your life. The key is to decide that you will become a giver, and not merely a taker. You will choose to leave something behind in this world and not merely try to get something out of it.

And as we all commit to that, our world will be a better place and we can all live the lives that we dream of.

-SHAILJA MEHTA

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SUNNY SIDES OF SUMMER

Finally it is almost there. Summer with sunny sides and floral beauty, is arriving in full glory and it is time to get your act together. That means updating your wardrobe with hottest style of the season. Among the must have clothing items is a simple dress in cotton or linen. It may or may not have sleeves and you can choose the length that works for your legs and body-whether the hemline is thigh-high or falls just at the knee. If you have the right dress, you can dress it up with classy jewellery, heels and scarf or dress it down with flat sandals and casual jewellery. Regardless, the dress along with variety of accessories can take you to and through many summer occasion.

Blouses are making a colourful statement in summer and whether they are ruffled, print or chiffon they will add a romantic touch to your wardrobe. These summer tops can be worn over simple, sometimes dropped-waist flat front pants with a touch of lycra for ease of movement or with smart fit straight jeans. Then there are skirts, which range in length and are available in varied colours in the market. Also remember that it is still fashionable to wear your long full skirt of lightweight fabric.

The season less appeal of denim is evident this season as every other season. If you prefer a more breezy fabric, there are plenty of summer designs made of chiffons. There are chiffon overblouses, dresses and skirts available in the market. Some great summer style tips are mentioned for you –

. Cotton, lightweight polyester fabrics, light cottons, stretch poplin and chiffons are the fabrics for summer

. Summer is colour of pastels. Go for lighter and natural look. White has never been hotter as in summers. White pants, white shorts, white skirts, white tanks and white T’s are in. Some women never wear whites because rumour has it that it makes you look larger. But that is not true. Just make sure that whatever you are wearing should fit you well. Once you have whites stock up on bright accessories-scarves, shoes, belts, bags and bracelets.

. Avoid wearing synthetic shirts but wear cotton kurtis with cotton pants.
. Sleeveless tops should be only worn in the evenings to avoid the suntan.
. Go for cap sleeves and kaftans tops in bright green, turquoise and fuchsia.
. Hats are in this summer too. Hats dress up everything from jeans to shorts to dresses. Hats can be floppy or fitted. They can cover up a bad hair day and more importantly; they protect your face from harmful sunrays.

CHOOSING GREAT SUNGLASSES

There is such a huge collection of sunglasses styles, prices and features that sometimes it is difficult to decide which pair is the best. The most important benefit your sunglasses should provide is protection from ultra voilet radiation, a component of sunlight that contributes to eye disease. Lenses materials differ. Some are heavier than others, some are more durable. Sunglasses lenses that wrap around to your temples keep out more light and ultraviolet radiation than typical lenses. Unless you know which frame shapes look good on you, go shopping as many styles as possible, if you can get permission to walk outside with glasses on, do it, so that you can find it how they actually work in sunlight.

SKINCARE

The skin contains sweat glands, which are two kinds-the appocrine and the eccrine. The eccrine glands are found all over the body, more particularly on the palms and soles of the feet. They excrete mainly water and salt. The appocrine glands, found in the underarm and pubic regions excrete sweat that mixes with the surface bacteria and decomposes fast, creating problems of the odour. In its effort to regulate body temprature, the skin excretes more perspiration, as the weather gets warmer. Besides bathing time, which is a real pleasure in summer and a great way to cool off, deodorants may help to some extent. Be sure to choose a mild deoddrant, because strong anti-prespirants and deodorants can irritate the skin. Actually perspiration is a necessary bodily function so should not be stopped. Roll on deodorants can also clog the pores in underarm region, leading to sebaceous cysts. Shower gels and body shampoos, containing natural ingredients like sandalwood and extract of whiterose, have a cooling and refreshing effect. A good toner is a must in hot humid weather. Not only does it refresh the skin but keeps it cleansed and tightens the pores. Shahnaz Hussain suggests keeping a flower based skin freshner, containing rose or lavender in a bowl in a refrigerator. Soak some cotton wool pads in it and keep it ready for use

Here are some suggestions to keep your skin looking beautiful all summer long –

1.Drink loads of water through the day, not only to replenish moisture lost to heat and sweat but also to flush out toxins out of the body. Herb or spice teas, made with skin enhancing ingredients offer therapeutic benefit. It is better to use cooling herbs and spices such as mint, cardamom and fennel.

2.Eating fruits, vegetables that supply the skin with radical fighting antioxidant properties while they help your skin cool. Carrots, lettuce, summer squash such as zucchini, celery, asparagus and leafy greens are good choices. Pears, grapes, watermelons and mangoes nourish and cleanse.

3.Go easy on spicy foods.

4.Get plenty of quality rest each night. Keep your bedroom cool, dark and sleep on cotton or linen sheets

5.The sun can increase sebum production, causing skin to look oily. When oil combines with oil or dirt, pores get clogged. Be meticulous about your cleansing routine, morning and night. Use non-soap gentle cleanser that will deep cleanse without drying out the skin

6Keep your skin nourished with a moisturizer. At least once a week, treat yourself to a fruit or vegetable mask appropriate for your skin type.

7.Don’t go out during hottest part of the day i.e.10AM to 3P.M. Wear sunscreen, lip protection, sunglasses and hat when you go out in the sun.

FLUIDS INTAKE

Summer is the time for cool drinks, not only to replenish fluids, but also to feel cool. Seventy percent of human body is made of water. The loss of water occurs daily and must be replenished daily. Normally we should drink six to eight glasses of water. This would meet body’s water requirement and also flush out toxins and wastes. Fresh lime is an ideal drink during summer. Add lemon juice to a glass of water. You can add honey and a pinch of salt. Crushed mint leaves can also be added. They have a cooling affect on the system. Avoid aerated drinks and include fresh fruit juices. Herbal drinks containing extracts of khus and rose can be taken, as these are natural coolants. Add a little lemon juice to herbal drinks. Iced tea can be taken instead of hot cup of tea. Jal jeera, taken with ice can also be a great summer drink. Watermelons are one of the healthiest alternatives to offer effective resistance against the scorching heat of the sun leaving you feeling refreshed all through. Be it the hot summer months or a tiring day, a glass of watermelon juice is sure to pep up your spirits and rehydrate your body. Watermelons are rich in lycopene, a non-pro vitamin carotenoid, having up to twice the anti oxidant capacity of beta-carotene in vitro.

PROPER USE OF SUNSCREENS

Exposure to ultra violet light, UVA or UVB from sunlight accounts for ninety percent of the symptoms of premature skin ageing such as wrinkles or skin cancers. Important factors to consider with sunscreen use are the spectrum of UV radiation absorbed, the amount of sunscreen applied, and the frequency of application. A good broad-spectrum sunscreen should have an SPF of at least 15. Most people do not apply enough sunscreen. It should be applied liberally enough to sun exposed areas. It takes 20 to 30 minutes for sunscreen to be absorbed so it should be applied at least half an hour before going out in the sun. Sunscreen should be applied daily and the daily use of a low SPF sunscreen (15) has been shown to be more effective in preventing skin damage than the intermittent use of higher SPF sunscreen. Hence we can see that anyone can get summer smart. All it requires is a good sunscreen, religious cleansing toning and moisturizing of the skin, great sunglasses, including plenty of fresh fruits and vegetables and fluids in your diet and last but not the least, a trendy wardrobe. Have a great summer.

-SHAILJA MEHTA

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BREAKING NEWS……. (The lighter side)

AUSTRALIAN PM TO ACT IN A TAMIL FILM

Comedians have turned actors, actors have turned villains and vice versa, sportsmen brand ambassadors and so on. So what's the big deal about a Prime Minister and that too from Australia, who is acting in, come again, a TAMIL film?

ANOTHER OLYMPIC PROBLEM- SQUAT TOILETS

In more than 30 test events held by organizers, the presence of squat toilets at many of the new and renovated venues has drawn frequent complaints.

Are these complaints from athletes? Maybe if squatting is included as part of their training regime, the complaints will stop and squat toilets will on the contrary, gain popularity!

IIM GRADUATES CROSS ONE CRORE SALARY MARK

Does that mean the present kindergarteners should learn numbers starting from 10000000? But of course, since numbers starting from 1 will be way too obsolete by the time they are IIMers.

HYDERABAD HEROES BEAT KOLKOTA TIGERS BY 4 WICKETS

Then it was Lahore Badshahs against Chennai Superstars or was it Chandigarh Lions, no may be Mumbai Champs. Yet again, it could be Ahmedabad Rockets.....

The ICL is giving everyone not only a run for their money but also a run for their imagination, can you just beat all those names anyone?

-Kanchana Rao