Doodles
Hi Friends!
We are living in a different world today… all the windows and doors to our house are wide open to let any outside influence enter our homes and enable all our treasures to fly out too. Also, today, every little action of ours- as ordinary citizens, and as global representatives of our country of birth is watched by everybody else. It is therefore imperative that each person considers himself or herself as a global citizen and be conscious of the fact that they behave responsibly… everybody is under public glare today. So whether it is dealing with skeletons in the family closet and the resultant acrimony taken to the extreme as it happened in the case of the Dr. Talwar family in Delhi or the ‘famous’ slap in the cricket field…. the message that they are projecting to the world is –‘everything is okay.’
After getting over the initial shock, when the society views such incidents with apathy, it becomes a matter of great concern. Such incidents are testimony to the moral degradation that is coming to be accepted by the societies of the world without any qualms. And this is where our country can contribute a lot to the world-- our endeavour to keep the concept of family systems (or whatever is left of it) intact. Even though we have long since embraced the concept of nuclear families… our link with our elders is very much intact. The burgeoning of senior citizens’ home and crèches may be a stark reality... but the bonds of love are very much palpable. Even today all human efforts are directed towards the happiness of one’s near and dear.
We must not only cherish family values, but also try to whip up past sentiments and strive to reinstate the pride of honour that joint families had had for centuries. If we adopt the concept of freedom within the boundaries of joint families, that is the best that we can have. Enlightened joint families can be a trigger for great achievements and yet provide the anchor of love and support, which can nourish the soul. Families are institutions wherein the concepts of happiness, sharing, caring, compassion, selflessness, sacrifice and innumerable other values lay strong foundation to human personality. And when that happens, such flagrant violations of human values will definitely come down.
Twelve years ago, the United Nations designated May 15 as International Day of Families. This is an annual observance that marks the importance of families in communities across the world. It is also a day that allows us to focus on the challenges faced by families everywhere.
It is true that occasions such as these are meant to remind us of the inestimable value of relationships. But then India and especially Chennai has always cherished the modern and the traditional with equal ease. And that is why even today the treasure trove of family values is being passed on as a priceless heirloom. One must remember that one can choose one’s friends but not one’s parents. A family is the basic unit of a society. If families are well knit, the society will be well- knit. For a value-based life, the traditional concept of family- ties is invaluable.
Ciao
Swati Amar
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Hi Friends!
The world is celebrating Mother’s Day on May 11. Though I am personally against celebrating specialdays for relations and people, I never miss an occasion to write my views , be it Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, Brother’s Day, Doctor’s Days or whatever. Because when everybody is writing about these ‘Days’, why miss the opportunity? Moreover, this is an occasion for us to recount all the wonderful interactions we have had with these magnificent people, without whom our lives would never have been complete or happy!
I fondly recall my carefree childhood days… amidst the lush environs in God’s own country, where I grew up. The word Mother brings to my mind’s eye the serene backwaters right in front of our home in Kochi…leading to the mighty oceans… and yet within its colossal depths spring forth such fathomless love and kindness that can never be witnessed among other mortals. I remember the days when I used to return home hungry from school along with my sisters and Mother used to wait for us with a hot snack and a drink. Despite the bedraggled clothes that stood testimony to the stark reality about the hard day she’d had, her bright smile on seeing her children was warm and welcoming. I remember how health conscious she was and insisted on our weekly oil-bath routine, our daily quota of vegetable and fruits.. this at a time when people were not very much health conscious.
Married at sixteen, when she wanted to study further, Mother never complained and strode confidently along with the man she’d married, in the difficult path he had chosen. Known for his great integrity, dedication and compassion as a civil servant our father lived a humble life. Mother took up the challenge of managing the family efficiently within the constraints imposed by the meagre income an honest civil servant could earn those days and instilled in us the basics of leading a thrifty but contented life. Her indefatigable energy and enthusiasm for life, untiring and ceaseless toil and the innumerable sacrifices she has made for her family were the foundations that have taken us to yonder lands and stood in good stead during the sojourn in our lives. Today at seventy, her unflagging enthusiasm continues as she finds the time and opportunity to do what she has not done for herself all these years- helping others and spending more time in her communion with God. And in her march of solitude she still keeps the promises that she’d made to the man whose hand she had held decades ago.
This is not the story of just my mother…. But the innumerable unsung heroines out there in the world… the Indian Mothers who are the torch bearers of our priceless values and virtues they are holding on to tenaciously, fervently hoping that they could pass them on to a befuddled generation. Behind the success of the Indian youth in the global arena lie the myriad sacrifices of the Mother. Yet, her task is far from complete. She has to arouse the interest of her scions in our astute legacy that shows the path to true happiness. Given her resolve and persistence, the Indian Mother will eventually succeed…
This is also the time to thank Mother Earth for the abundance that she keeps showering on mankind ceaselessly. As the World Earth Day flashed past us on 22 April, it is time for all of us to remind ourselves that we keep receiving the bounty that Mother Earth bestows on us. But what is it that we are giving her in return? What are we as mothers, leaving behind for our children? A depleted world replete with scarcity of essential resources? If we continue to mindlessly exploit Mother Earth’s kindness, we may reach a stage when even oxygen would become a scarcity! It is time for us to wake up to the stark realities of environmental depletion and design ways and means to protect, conserve and enrich the Earth so that we may leave behind a luscious, verdant green world with clean air, free from dust and garbage and full of oxygen, petrol, food, water and everything else that would enable our scions to continue our unfinished mission in the universe- the pursuit of knowledge, peace, unity and happiness.
On the occasion of Mother’s Day I take pride in humbly saluting every Mother who makes living worthwhile in the world. No doubt, as long as the Mother exists, so will the world!
Ciao
Swati Amar
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Hi Friends!
Varusha Pirappu ushers in propitious beginnings, symbolically embodied in the tradition of ‘Kani Kannudal,’ which our forefathers had followed. On the day the Tamil New Year dawned, when people woke up, they cast their first glance at a mirror kept in the Pooja room in front of which was placed a tray bedecked with gold jewelry, fragrant flowers, gleaming silverware brimming with coins, jewelry, grains, thamboolam, coconuts, fruits like mangoes, bananas and plantains. This ritual embodied the spirit of positivism and optimism , instilling hopes of a prosperous and successful future. Even today, families that pursue some of the meaningful traditions handed down to us by our ancestors wake up to this beautiful sight of plenty and prosperity.
On introspection, what our bygone generations tried to inculcate in us was not avarice or greed for material things but a hope of attaining success and affluence if a positive approach is adopted in our lifestyles. At Eve’s Times, to our readers, we bring a different Kani Kanudhal ritual this New Year. Our mirror will reflect the lives and times of unusual people who have made a difference to the world around them by their strength of character. These people have fought against many odds, crossed myriad hurdles, leaving the oft-beaten path to unearth new vistas.
Changes are brought about by people who stray away from the existing path. Their quest to charter a different route is what leads us towards new discoveries, successes, opportunities and set trends for others to follow. But change is difficult and not accepted easily by the majority. What makes these people special is that they have the dauntlessness to ward off such limiting constraints and continue their mission, despite being misunderstood, shunned and criticized. Let us applaud such women and men who are looking at life differently, let us give them our whole-hearted support, or at least keep ourreservations to ourselves. After all, ‘Great spirits have always found violent opposition from mediocre minds. The latter cannot understand it when a man does not thoughtlessly submit to hereditary prejudices but honestly and courageously uses his intelligence.’
As an interactive platform, Eve’s Times has elicited magnificent responses from people. Here’s another opportunity brewing for you all to take up your pen and write to us – in Hindi, Tamil, Malayalam and Hindi. You can send us information about people who are making a difference to the world in their own quiet ways.
Given the new global ambience of plentiful opportunities, an aura of optimism created by global achievements by Indians and the wealth of intellectual capabilities reposed in us, let us view the auspicious ‘Kani’ of new efforts, ideas, thinking and vision with interest. Let this be our Varusha Pirappu Kani Kanudhal! Puthandu Vazhthugal!
Ciao
Swati Amar
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Hi Friends!
Firstly, I would like to begin by thanking you all for the immense response we have so far received for our women’s special issues. It gladdens my heart to see that Chennai is home to innumerable thinking women who want to make a difference to themselves and to the society.
My interactions with several women over a decade now has convinced me that all the women we see smiling from the pages of the print media and from television channels have been through a lot to get there. Every woman who has accomplished something has had the courage to not only ward off the obstacles presented by families, circumstances and the society ridden with gender bias and prejudices, but they have also had to work doubly hard, if not more than their counterparts to get where they are today.
However, I have found some women up in the hierarchy ridden with cynicism and suspicion. I am sure their constant fight against constraining circumstances and their being placed in situations where they might have been taken advantage of would have altered the softer, amicable and feminine side of their personality. I have come across well-placed women who are not easily accessible nor approachable, are highly stung, extra sensitive, suspicious and touchy. There is a refusal to understand people, especially other women; they misinterpret everybody who approaches them as people who may take advantage of them and react according to this misinterpretation and misjudgment.
We are living in an era of communication and professionalism. It makes good sense to keep an open mind and not allowthe cobwebs of our own past history to mar our sense of proportion. It also makes good sense to extend our hands of friendship to other women and help whoever is in need without asking ourselves, “Why should I? I have had to undergo a lot of struggle to reach where I am today. So let them also fight and come up.” Let me tell you, men never think like that. They do not bat an eyelid if another man approaches them to seek their counsel or help I am sure, given the education, financialinpendence and above all the freedom to think and act according to what we feel is right or wrong, women can also forge strong friendships and cordial interactions with other women so that this bonding brings about the strength to elevate other women and help extricate them from the manacles that constrain them.
Ciao
Swati Amar
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Hi Friends!
International Women’s Day is an occasion when women from all continents, divided by national boundaries and by ethnic, linguistic, cultural, economic and political differences, come together to celebrate a Day meant exclusively to acknowledge their contributions to the world. This is a day when we can look back to a tradition that represents at least nine decades of struggle for equality, justice, peace and development. In a world full of opportunities for advancement in many fields, women no longer have to be concerned about choosing a satisfying option. Once a woman has chosen a particular arena where she will progress and endeavour to excel, she need not even be apprehensive about the challenges and hurdles that may come across her way- such as gender bias, lack of cooperation, prejudices and age-old beliefs and taboos. Women have always been fighting against these challenges and are emerging successful.
The real challenge for the woman lies in emerging out of her own shadows and make choices in life. Many a time in her life, a woman is at crossroads and needs to draw out courage from within herself to make certain decisions. She is like the butterfly that emerges out of the warm and cozy confines of the cocoon that was protecting her from the big bad world outside. But a butterfly flutters its multi-hued wings and darts merrily into the vast expanse of the world to savour new experiences- which may or may not be filled with challenges, she does not know, nor does it restrain her from reaching out. So should be a woman who should conquer her fears, hesitation and insecurities and take on challenges, if she has to move towards self-actualization.
That by itself is not a great challenge. But the major hurdle of the young women of today seems to come from herself. Many young girls believe that to prove themselves equal to men, they have to adopt their habits and emulate them in everything they do. In the process, they pick up bad habits which have been the exclusive prerogative of men so far such as smoking, alcohol and of course promiscuity. On introspection, to the risk of being considered archaic, I divulge the reality that lies behind such trivial pursuits. Men have nothing to lose… in fact they have everything to gain. An attractive, educated and intelligent girl friend who insists on going Dutch is an asset—it boosts his self esteem and image in the eyes of his peers, friends and office colleagues. Many men who have a girl friend tagging along give up being laidback and start taking their career and advancement seriously. And finally, it is the woman who has to adopt contraception, fall prey to the dangerous designs of jealous men, put up with the wrong men, be abused, and also face the consequences of an errant life style. It is the woman who has to seek the help of a gynecologist and it is the woman who gets pregnant. Since time immemorial it has been the woman’s responsibility to bring up her child--at the most the man may have to bear the expenses and take over the guardianship of their children after they are grown up. We must remember, ‘Men don’t get pregnant.’
More than anything else, if girls do not accept freedom with responsibility, they will incur the wrath of the society for their no-holds-bar lifestyle and will set the clock back to where it was ….. No parent will have the courage to encourage their daughters to step out into the world to seek their fortunes. When parents today are giving their daughters the freedom to do what they want, to educate themselves and seek careers and trust them completely, if the girls do not tread carefully, they will not only scorch themselves, but will also bring pain and tribulations to their families.
Let us be clear about what we want—we do not want the freedom to emulate our counterparts… their misdeeds and misdemeanors… of course it is another matter if you want to adopt certain exemplary qualities of worthy men…. We want the freedom to enhance ourselves, satisfy the inner cravings for an identity and a space in the society… we want to be able to make a difference to the society we live in and we want happiness, peace and harmony. If we are clear about these, then there is no reason to dither or stumble. Given our skills, talent, intelligence and the intrinsic motivation each of us possess, we can march ahead with firm steps towards a New, Equal and Harmonious world which we have helped to create!
Ciao
Swati Amar
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