CELEBRATING TOGETHERNESS

Thomas Jefferson The happiest moments of my life have been the few, which, I have passed at home in the bosom of my family.

Twelve years ago, the United Nations designated May 15 as International Day of Families. This is an annual observance that marks the importance of families in communities across the world. It is also a day that allows us to focus on the challenges faced by families everywhere.

It is true that occasions such as these are meant to remind us of the inestimable value of relationships. But then India and especially Chennai has always cherished the modern and the traditional with equal ease. And that is why even today the treasure trove of family values is being passed on as a priceless heirloom. One must remember that one can choose one’s friends but not one’s parents.  A family is the basic unit of a society. If families are well knit, the society will be well- knit. For a value-based life, the traditional concept of family- ties is invaluable.

“The world is disintegrating today only due to the breakdown of the joint family system. The western concept of a family has come to mean just the husband, wife and their children. I remember that during my childhood, our family home had housed nearly 50 relatives. It is only in such large families, one learns to live and let others live,” says eminent danseuse Dr. Padma Subrahmanyam. .

“Whenever I travel, my thoughts are always centred on my family. When I come back to my home and family members, I feel relaxed. All my tensions and fatigue evaporate and my energy is recouped as I enter the threshold of my house. That is when I realize what a great influence a family has on each and every family member. Bound to the family by love and affection, family members feel wanted and cared for, which is a morale booster and elevates their spirit. It is a great feeling,” says Ms. Nityashree Mahadevan, Carnatic Musician.

“In India, the ideal family set-up is such that every woman derives love and affection from two families, the family into which she was born, and the family into which she sets her foot after marriage. This system instills a feeling of security and love that is unparalleled.  Nowhere in the world can one find such a social set-up. I think we should feel proud of our country for being the embodiment of such priceless values.  The value-based family system of our country is the best. Since I hail from a large extended family and today, I live in a joint family, I realize that living together fosters several desirable qualities like adjusting, adapting etc.

When I go abroad, I find that, despite all the luxury and comfort, something is lacking in the countenance of many, especially the senior citizens. It springs from feelings of being lonely, of not having anyone intimate to share their thoughts and emotions with.  We may be lagging behind the Western countries in terms of development. Yet, if we look at even a rickshaw puller in the streets, the contentment and happiness that a family has bestowed upon him is evident in his blissful visage.  It comes from a feeling of being loved and wanted.  A family is a great source of inner happiness,” says Nityashree with emotion. 

Ms. Shobana Ravi, Newsreader, Doordarshan, Chennai, speaks about the challenges  families face today, “ In a family, all members should grow together.  Even if one person in the family is stagnant, it becomes problematical for the rest of the family members. Learning is the essence of life. Instead of holding on to certain obsolete beliefs and superstitions, if all the members were open-minded enough to grow simultaneously, it would be great for the family. The members should realize that there are bound to be differences of opinion. If they are not broad-minded to accept and acknowledge this, then the essence of the family is lost.  A family becomes a burden if one cannot cope with the growth of the others or if some members are not able to keep up with others in terms of growth. In the event of the ambience in a family being conducive for optimum growth and elevation of every family member, a family is the best thing that can happen to a person.”

Srinivas, Playback singer, gives a world-view, “I consider the world itself as one big, extended family. If you develop that kind of emotion, then everyone will be basically happy. Of course, it is nice to belong to a family. But it is more important to hold this kind of world-view than restrict your vision to ‘my wife, my children, my parents’ etc. It is a fact that to be happy in life, we have to set our family right first. Yet, if every one can bring oneself to consider every other person living in the world as belonging to one huge family, then real harmony begins to develop among human beings. “