TOWARDS A WORLD SANS AIDS

FIDELITY IS THE FOUNDATION FOR A HAPPY MARRIAGE

 ‘Every man’s life is a fairy-tale written by God’s fingers,’ Hans Christian Andersen rightly said. Given the present ambience of global exposure and a plethora of opportunities for advancement in myriad fields, young India is poised for a momentous take-off at the world level.  At this point in time, it makes sense to strive to emerge from the shackles that hinder us from advancing to this vantage position. It is in this context that Eve’s Times, in conjunction with AIDS Prevention and Control (APAC) Project, Voluntary Healthy Services and USAID,  brings to you the voices of prominent Chennaites who will record their impressions and views on the beauty of living a useful and productive life.   

Popular TV actors Chetan and his wife Devadarshini make a lovely Husband-Wife pair in real life. While they are enthralling television viewers in Jodi No. 1, they have their feet firmly entrenched in our culture and they make no bones about disclosing their faith in our priceless traditions. Says Chetan, “Family values such as being loyal to the spouse are inherent in Indian culture and have been continuing for generations. Today, India is in a position to lead the world towards its quest for peace and happiness given the strength of this inheritance. I feel that today, more than ever before, our values are being reinforced, the need for our values are being recognized world over. When afflictions like AIDS happen, it is as though God is giving mankind a message and directing us towards the right path, which our ancestors have laid down for us.

At this juncture I also feel that parents should set the right examples for their children.  If family values are not strong, children tend to become recluses. Children from families where the bonding is strong children grow with feelings of security. Their social interactions will be better andthey grow up to be confident individuals. However, in families where there are problems between the husband and the wife, children feel insecure. They may try to lead a life similar to that of their parents. Usually children from troubled homes may not do well in many other areas too. When the father or the mother forges a relationship with another person, it emits confusing signals to the children, which is not good for them.

Devadarshini and I try to spend all our leisure time with our daughter. The past month has been a whirlwind though. Apart from our usual serials, practice sessions for Jodi No.1 took away a lot of our time. We could immediately sense how our daughter missed us even though we have family members who take good care of her. Since this serial is nearing completion, we have more time now and we are devoting all our attention and time on her. When the three of us are together, it is festive time for our daughter.

 As a parting message, my question to men who are into an extra-marital relationship is this, “There is no greater insult to a human being than the realization that the spouse is involved a physical relationship with another person.  It makes the aggrieved party feel that something is lacking in her/him. If your wife seeks the companionship of another man how would you feel? Try to put yourself in her place.”

Similarly, when a man gets HIV infection, the suffering is confined not only to him, but it also spreads to his wife and child. Before seeking physical intimacy with another woman every man should think, “Just because I make a mistake, is it fair to expose my wife and my innocent child to life-long suffering?”

Devadrshini believes it is important to inculcate family values in our children. “Times are changing. Only nine years after I completed my college education have lapsed and I can already sense a wide difference when I see today’s college goers. Over the past few years, the society has changed drastically. In this situation, only strong family values can guide them.

I believe that a husband and wife relationship must first be based on truth. If they are truthful and open to each other, if they do not have any secrets, there is no fear of either of them seeking a relationship outside marriage. Similarly it is important for the channels of communication between the parents and the children to be open.  Children will then be confident of discussing anything and everything with their parents. When relationships are based on trust and honesty, there is no place for afflictions or affections outside the family.”