This is a fun column, a friendly exchange between you and your young friends. If you feel like opening out your heart to someone, seek the counsel of someone your age, there are many youngsters out there to lend you a helping hand. In this issue, S.Shiva, RJ and TV actor in Chennai gives his counsel to young distressed souls. Shiva is known for his histrionics in ‘Kanaa Kaanum Kaalangal,” a hit serial based on school life. You can ask anything under the sun… but this column is meant only for the teens…ADULT ALERT!!!!

I am an 18-year old boy doing my Plus 2 now. Actually, I am in the midst of my Board exams.  I used to be a very casual guy and spend a lot of time with my friends. But now I am serious and have started working hard. My father has a very poor opinion of me and he keeps saying that I will never come to any good in life.  Unfortunately, I have not done a couple of papers well and I know that I will not pass. I see no point in writing the rest of the exams. I feel like running away from home. How will I face my father?  What should I do?

If I were you I will face the situation boldly. You have an option of abandoning the rest of the papers. But why not give them a try? Maybe you may do the other papers well. Once that is done, you can clear the arrears in June when the board gives everyone a chance to improve their marks.  You can still join college. I don’t believe in giving half way through.

I will tell myself, let me face the consequence, whatever it is.  If you fail, it is not a big deal. Of course, if you can do well, it is the best that can happen. But failure is no reason not to continue to strive to do well in life. It is better to be positive, study more and be confident and use your second chance better.

I will also tell my father about my performance and assure him that next time I will do well and continue my education or take up a job. You have to instill confidence in your father that you can handle your life well. That is what parents want- their children should do well in their lives or at least face failures and problems with maturity.

As for leaving your home, never even contemplate that option. It is not an option at all. It is not safe for you and you will be hurting your parents very badly and affecting all the family members. Out in the world, young boys like you have to face great hardships and exploitation. Under your parent’s care and with a roof over your head, now is the best time to make amends and see that your life is right back on tracks. Best of luck, friend!

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I come from a conservative middle class background, but I got to a hip school in Chennai because I was admitted there because it is near my home. Whenever there are get-togethers and parties in school or outside with our class mates, I go looking like a frump because my parents insist that I should be ‘covered’ properly. I tried talking to them, but though they are modern about their willingness to give me higher education in India or abroad, they are adamant about my dress code. I feel miserable!

We live in a world where interactions among young boys and girls are open and friendly. I can understand you would feel like a fish out of water when you have to go to pubs with your friends in ancient costumes. I believe that parents who send their wards to modern schools must also be prepared to accept that their children’s desires. There is no way out for you except for talking it out with them very frankly and expressing how miserable. May be you have not expressed your feelings to them properly. If you do so, they might at least permit you to wear trendy clothes, which may still ‘cover’ you up.  Of course, being a very naughty boy, I am one person who would go out and change once I am out of home. But don’t you dare!