Mandu Mohan wins 20 crores from Rs. 20 lottery ticket.
The dealer gave 11 crores after deducting tax.
Angry Mohan, “Give me 20 crores or else return my Rs. 20 back.”

Mohan: Me fail English!  That’s Unpossible.

Police: we’re going to ask you a few simple yes or no questions. Do you understand?
Mandu Mohan: Yes. (Lie detector blows up)

Mohan to his children: Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.

Mohan to Doctor: In my dreams monkeys play football every night.
Doctor: Take this medicine from tonight.
Mohan: Can I start from tomorrow, because tonight is Finals?

A man looks at the sky and asks Mohan:
Is that a sun or moon?
Mohan replies:  No idea…I’ m new to this city.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, "You know, I was a fool when I married you." And the husband replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice it."

Dad: Hide all the costly things in our house; my friends are coming!
Son: Are your friends thieves? Will they steal all the things?
Dad:  No, they will identify their things.

Adam and Eve had an ideal marriage. He didn't have to hear about all the men she could have married, and she didn't have to hear about the way his mother cooked.

 An elderly woman died last month. Having never married, she requested no male pallbearers. In her handwritten instructions for her memorial service, she wrote, "They wouldn't take me out while I was alive, I don't want them to take me out when I'm dead.”

 A police recruit was asked during the exam, "What would you do if you had to arrest your own mother?" He said, "Call for backup."

 A very dirty little fellow came in from playing in the yard and asked his mother, "Who am I? " Ready to play the game she said, "I don't know! Who are you?" "WOW!" cried the child. "Mrs. Johnson was right! She said I was so dirty, my own mother wouldn't recognize me!"

A wise schoolteacher sends this note to all parents on the first day of school: "If you promise not to believe everything your child says happens at school, I'll promise not to believe everything he says happens at home.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Teacher: How old is your father?
Sunny: As old as I am.
Teacher: How is it possible?
Sunny: He became a father only after I was born.

Teacher: Ramu, get up. How can you sleep in my class?
Ramu: I can teacher, if you keep your voice down.

Teacher: Where does God live?
Little boy: I think he lives in our bathroom.
Teacher: Why do you say that?
Little boy: Well, every morning my daddy bangs on the door and says, God, are you still in there?'

Teacher: What is your name?
Student: Mera naam Suraj Prakash hai.
Teacher: When I ask a question in English, answer it in English.
Student: My name is Sunlight.